Tuesday, November 16, 2010
oh why do we teach them anything??
so dont get me wrong i am glad that he can get himself a drink and tell me what he wants but i dont like trying to cattier to his every desire or cleaning up the mess when he spills water for the third time that day.... and what is this obsession with water anyways. seriously all water he will pull his kitchen chair to the sink and cry for me to turn the water on he always plays with the dogs water dish(including putting dog food in the water to get a disgusting soggy texture), he learned a long time ago how to flush the toilet and will do this over and over and over (luckily hasnt flushed anything yet{knock on wood}) he has also discovered that if he climbs up on the toilet and uses the toilet paper dispenser as a stepping stool he can easily get on the counter and play in the sink!! just the other day he told me to "wait a sec" and when i said what he said "just a sec"....... are you kidding me!! my least fav is that he has learned to open doors .... and will do so at his little hearts content.. though he is so funny about shutting them too.. when he gets up in the morning (or in the middle of the night) he opens his door shuts it behind him comes in our room and slams in behind him again.... ugh!! he loves to help in the kitchen and his fav thing is to crack the eggs and then squeeze in his hand! why? why? he now wont let anyone touch the hand mixer while hes mixing. grrr... yesterday he was biting clothes just for oh idk fun i guess and decided to bite my pants but he got my skin too and yelled out in pain and he just looked at me and then turned and ran away jumping in his toy box which was sitting just across the room from me and just sat there staring at me fake crying! such a little actor... i have no idea where he gets it from! he runs aways and talks back and get into everything.. so i think developmentally he is spot on... i really really wish it was morally ethically and legally acceptable to use toddler straight jackets... but those wouldnt be complete without the dirty sock duck taped in his mouth!! is that so wrong? am i the only one that has this desire? i just need a nap every once in a while... cant i just drug him?? does that make me a bad mom! i think not!!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
totlock country block
LETS CONSIDER THIS FOR A MIN!!
One property crime happens every 3 seconds
One vehicle theft every 20 seconds
One larceny every 4 seconds
One burglary every 10 seconds
One robbery every 60 seconds, or 1 minute
and 500000 people enter and live in our country illegally every year.
and who can forget that the CIA let a couple into a party for the president of the united states(OH BAMMA..... BOO) that weren't even on the list.
and yet when i tried to open my recently bought kit kat bar this afternoon that thing was sealed up tighter then fort knocks!! really it had been a long day and i felt compelled to reward myself with a little prize for making it through without hiding in a locked dark room in the fetal position rocking back and forth and cooing like a coo coo bird to myself..... you know one of those.... i'm just going to pretend to myself that you all agree that you have had just such days of your own. anyways continuing on it took three tries and a good 45 sec to open the plastic wrapper and in that time i yelled a few profanities.... i know i have a really hard time not saying freakin ackurshnay (only a choice few ppl will see the humor in that) when im really about to explode. anyways after the wonderful chocolate had been consumed and i had chilled out i had a wonderful though... you know like those new windows commercials where they suddenly turn into supper hot models.. anyways i had a moment like that and it hit me. i have a hard time getting into everything that is seemingly easy like Medicaid bottles and kit kat wrappers and so on and so on.... especially tot locks ... im thinking the solution is tot lock the the nations borders.... think about it huh!! i know you be understanding my crack a lackin language!
One property crime happens every 3 seconds
One vehicle theft every 20 seconds
One larceny every 4 seconds
One burglary every 10 seconds
One robbery every 60 seconds, or 1 minute
and 500000 people enter and live in our country illegally every year.
and who can forget that the CIA let a couple into a party for the president of the united states(OH BAMMA..... BOO) that weren't even on the list.
and yet when i tried to open my recently bought kit kat bar this afternoon that thing was sealed up tighter then fort knocks!! really it had been a long day and i felt compelled to reward myself with a little prize for making it through without hiding in a locked dark room in the fetal position rocking back and forth and cooing like a coo coo bird to myself..... you know one of those.... i'm just going to pretend to myself that you all agree that you have had just such days of your own. anyways continuing on it took three tries and a good 45 sec to open the plastic wrapper and in that time i yelled a few profanities.... i know i have a really hard time not saying freakin ackurshnay (only a choice few ppl will see the humor in that) when im really about to explode. anyways after the wonderful chocolate had been consumed and i had chilled out i had a wonderful though... you know like those new windows commercials where they suddenly turn into supper hot models.. anyways i had a moment like that and it hit me. i have a hard time getting into everything that is seemingly easy like Medicaid bottles and kit kat wrappers and so on and so on.... especially tot locks ... im thinking the solution is tot lock the the nations borders.... think about it huh!! i know you be understanding my crack a lackin language!
Monday, March 15, 2010
A Cliffard Goodbye
so its been a long time i know and here it all is... christmas was awesome my first born turned one and i didnt cry (though i think my uterus shed a little tear.... dumb slut wants another baby i think). he is such a big boy now hes sleeping through the night and napping on his own and hes weened from the teet if life (aka) mommas chocolate milk!! hes really starting to talk and some sign language... he fallows intructions and comands quite well... hes never been one for a spanking he doesnt understand that it hurts... stinkin kid hes just now realizing that its not the funnest thing but i have to pull down his pants to do so... he got in trouble the other day for something or other and i spanked him and set him on the stairs to sit in timeout. the next time i yelled at him he pouted and went and put himself in timeout... lol what a cute little kid right!! i just love him.. though i could stangle him... to date he has broken 11 frames and 2 glass jars 2 glasses/mugs. i know what your thinking i should keep that stuff outta reach.... to that i say ..... This is A JuDge FREE ZoNe (read the fine print sucker)!! so ya ...... questin if you cant pick who your related to but can pick who your related to through marraige why did i drop the ball as far as my inlaws go... simple to say we dont exactly see eye to eye.. im just so sick of all the drama... holly cow right! i just dont understand why every little thing has to be such a HUGE deal... i could go on and on about this subject but heaven forbid any of them read this.. anyways ... moving on.. have i mentioned that i dont particulalry enjoy this town??? i mean there really isnt much wrong with it but i really dont want to raise my children here and i've told the hubby a million times that i will not be burried here. no way i want this to be my bodys final resting place..... i like my body too much to subject it to these prairie dogs to dig up over under around and plz plz not through! they are everywhere!! so i was thinking the other day and its really sad that as a single person you hear married people talking and laughing about random various things and you dont understand why its that funny.. and then you get married and you realize why its so funny BeaCuse Its TrUe~~!! yes thats right they aren't just making things up for conversation sake... like socks ... i know you cant believe it but husbands really do leave there socks EVERYWHERE and i do mean everywhere.... i kid you not im sitting here atop my comffy couch and i see three and a half pairs of socks all from my hubby.... proof that married peaople joke about sock all over the place beacuse its funny and its funny because its true... my husband and i are currently hashing out the pros and cons of finishing our attick..... reason # 1 for me... we want more children and currently our spare room is occupied by our boflex and a desk.... guess where my husband ..... (lets refure to him as Cliffered until frther notice because he is my friendly dog) anyways Cliff thinks that we could solve this problem by moving the boflex into our master bedroom... now all you ladies can i get a "oh no he didnt" just so i can follow up with a "oh yes he did" ..... yes thats right our bedroom wouldnt that be so cute to decorate with right there at the foot of the bed with some lovely throw pillows over tied around with some ribbon... nothing a little hot glue gun couldnt handl right!! oh and perfect for hanging clothes on to right!!! NOT ahhh men .... i love me som cliff but i would love to throw him off a cliff sometimes.. or at least dangle him off one for a few hours till all the blood that has rushed to his head has made him pass out... that would be entertaining for a min or two is all im saying..while we're on the topic of Cliff i might as well get this off my chest as well.... i know for a fact that he is a man ... (yes i do hold his balls in my purse and on occasion get them out to bribe him with something promising i'll give them back if he does it... poor sucker takes that bate everytime) anyways i know he is a man he is equiped with an outie not and innie but man sometimes i wonder where these female traits come from... ok really just one.... why does it take him so long to do anything and everything esspecially saying goodbye... now granted it is nice when he takes a long time in the bed room but not in the shower or doing his hair... man that boy could take almost twice as long as me doing either... and seriously he will stand there and be saying goodbye to someone for 40 min... not kidding ... everytime we go somewhere i have to tell him at least 3 times that its probably time to go... doesnt that sound like something a man should be complaining about.. i mean seriously.... the best part is that though like a woman he takes so long to say goodbye to everyone and their dog plus aunt agnus twice and the pet chicken and the beautiful orcad that has been growing in the front yard for 13 years and might not make it through another winter.... he does it in his own special man way!! he'lll stand there and in 5 min hes maybe said 10 words including 7 yas or hmms!! oh my stars that boy..... gotta love me some cliff though.... well i think thats enough for today i'm sure ill have more soon to chat or complain about!! gotta do it somewhere right!! much love my faithful readers!!
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