One is the Loneliest Number

What do I have so say today…. Well for starters I AM SO DAMB BORED! Why after you hit a certain age is it no longer ok for you to have friends over to hang out? Just you two chillin… why do your kids have to get along. Or have kids the same age. Why is it weird that now at 25 with 3 kids I call someone up and am like “yo im bored come over” do I get hung up on! Well ok ok I know why it’s that whole living on someone else’s time schedule thing…. You know like nap time and hungry time and heaven forbid we leave the house because we are potty training or their favorite show is on in like 5 min so by the time we find everyone’s shoes get all these freaking buckles done up for their car seats drive over unbuckle fall out and get in the show would be almost over… plus it’s a kids show you know what that means… no freaking commercials. Well I guess that depends on what station your watching but don’t even get me started on that right now because I could go on for days! Anyways they wake up I have to hold their hand through every single daily task starting with breakfast all the way through making their beds and saying their prayers and by the end I have said “keep picking up the blocks” 77 times before they rush out the door to play… and then what am I supposed to do? Read another book…. I currently have two that are so slow I’m dragging my feet just trying to trudge through to the end… like really when is something exciting going to happen! Clean again… please I do that all day every day! Watch some daytime tv garbage? No thank you desperate house wife! How about sew or paint or knit or scrapbook? Well 1. When was the last time you took 3 kids into a craft store and came out unscathed? Last time I almost had to buy the whole freaking bead isle when one of mine thought it would be a great idea to climb on up to try and reach the bead hanging on the very top because it was “just so awesome mommy needed it” 2. Aint nobody got money for that shit! All my money goes to buying new shoes for these growing brats or even more then that food! Good gravy they eat this much now what’s gonna happen when they hit puberty! Heaven help me!! Let’s see what else could I do … oh I know get on facebook …. Again…. But sadly I have already seen you take a selfie in that bathroom before and yes you look exactly the same as when you had your hair pulled to the other side.. and no I don’t want to play candy crush so stop freaking asking me! I could get online and do some genealogy but apparently no one in my family exist! How about some service indexing? Well if my computer would actually allow me to open the webpage maybe I could spend some time doing that….. ah! Typing this is even a challenge because my beautiful angels have pulled of three keyboard buttons . one for each of them I guess…so my f g and b are all gone… why couldn’t it have been a shift or something!! I can’t leave the house the baby is asleep and everywhere cost money except the park where I get to watch my children have fun. They have their own friends… they live next-door…. And down the street….. and in the same house!!!! I however am bored out of my mind with limited options except to piss and moan! The end!

Flatulent days....

Well yesterday was a day. Maybe not the craziest I've ever had. But definitely a day! I did quite a lot and was way tired. Plus it was Monday! No one likes a Monday. I went grocery shopping cleaned cleaned the house did some laundry and since my dryer is broken I had to hang my clothes on anything I could makeshift outside! I should have taken pictures it was amusing! Anyways on top of all that I spent ALL DAY with my 3 yr old ! Tahlae at least takes a nap but not Korlen! 13 hrs straight with ANY individual is enough to drive one crazy let alone a small child filled with way too much energy! By the end of the day I had had it! After dinner I was ready for them to go to bed early and when they were supposed to be going to get their pjs on I found Tahlae unraveling the toilet paper for the third time and told him he was gonna get a spanking which means nothing for him because he doesn't understand and has never gotten a real one anyways! Little poop! Anyways I pretend swayed his bum which Korlen thought was pretty funny do he proceeded to follow me around spanking me instead of changing his clothes. I wasn't all that mad or irritated but I decided the best retaliation at this point was something smelly! Poor korlen has grown to just the height of my bum so it didn't take much to hold his head close and let one fly! How's that for a confession! I'm sure one day he'll appreciate the humor in the gesture. At thus age he didn't even realize what was going on or why I was laughing so hard. Probably better that way no need for him to repeat the action on another poor child. Everyone would look to me and ask where he learned something like that lol!

To infinity and beyond

I don't really like to think of myself as a pessimist or as someone ubber concerned with hidden meanings or a freak mom that won't let my kids watch normal stuff because I think it's going to rot their mind. But I am a desperate house wife. Well no, less then that really, just a stay at home mom at least desperate housewives busy themselves with useless things like lunch dates and shopping and checking how high their neighbors grass really is! And of course they all have live in help like nannies and house cleaners where as I am at home all day cleaning and laundry and meals and of course trying desperately to entertain the children without too much tv. But after a long night of one waking up right after the other I want nothing more then to get them some cherioes put on a movie and finally fall asleep myself(who am I kidding what mother really falls all the way to sleep) and let the rest of my "duties" to wait till later.

Now I don't know if it is nearly because I am half alive when watching these shows ( which makes it all the more entertaining mind you) or I'd I really have a problem with the things depicted but it leaves you to think.
1) WOW we grew up on some seriously violent material
2) do the creatures of today even have children of their own!
~all in all. Someone obviously isn't thinking of what kind of cause and effect theory they are instilling into the next generation!

1) we recently got an entertainment console that is hooked to our tv and filled with old Disney movies and cartoons that Lorenzo and I grew up on. Like Tom and jerry, looney toons, Smerfs, lady and the tramp, 101 Dalmatians, Cinderella. You know the good stuff! It's funny how now as an adult parts in the movies can be so funny for such different reasons! For instance when I was little I paid no mind to the fact that the cat in Cinderella is named lucifer! As an adult realizing what that really means I'm dying with laughter. On the other hand. As a child watching bugs bunny I paid no mind to the fact that when he got shoot by a riffle he just got a whole in his stomach that the other characters popes their head through! As an adult I'm thinking. WHAT! I have nightmares that korlen is gonna find a stick of dynamite and blow himself up because he's under the impression that his skin will just turn black and his hair will singe! I mean holly smokes you don't see stuff like that anymore. The old time cartoons didn't have crazy overprotective moms calling in complaints making then reign in what they could and couldn't do. But me as a litera little kid and with a brother like mine I honestly don't know how I lived to see this day.

2) if any of you have ever said " you can play buzz light year but you are not allowed to try and jump ALL the way down the stairs in one leap" you know exactly what I'm talking about. The whole toy story movie alone creeps me out. If I was a kid again I would get rid of every one of my toys before they had a chance to linch me in my sleep! And now I'm positive that korlen thinks that real cars are smart enough to stop when he runs out in front of him. Every red car is called lightning after all. And to get out of trouble you may be in with the law just attach balloons to your house and fly away to happy vile or think happy thoughts a and fly away to never land ( yeah cuz those are plausible ideas!

More things I've learned from the world of child entertainment. If ppl die just clap your hands. If you get flattened by a boulder you can still walk around flatter then a pancake or someone can just blow you up with a tire pump. Magical hats can bring snowmen to life. And in ALL cases when you meet someone that speaks another language once you start talking you understand each other and all animals and trees talk to each other.

No wonder life was so easy when you were little. The possibilities where endless and there was always a happy ending!

i want him too! both of them!

oh why oh why doesnt he act like this all the time?

so i dropped korlen off at the sitters this morning on my way to work and he was SO sad.. i dont get it... he wanted to go home and he was crying saying he wanted mommy! it makes me feel so sad. its hard to leave a crying boy when i cant help it. why doesnt he act like he wants me all the time ... i mean its easier on the other days when he just gives me a kiss saying wove you mommy and running to go play with the toys but what about when hes yelling at me like im a terrorist with a bomb straped to my chest about to end his whole world whenever i tell him he cant have anymore animal cookies or when i say he cant go to the park cuz its raining... or when we're driving and he realizes we're almost home and shouts out any name he can think of... "i wanna go to taits house i wanna go to nanas house i wanna go to grandma grandpas... i dont wanna go home" ahh! why cant he want to be with mommy all the time... it makes me feel so horrible to have the last thing i hear closing the door behind me is through is sobs... i want mommy!~

get it out!!

BOOOHOOO HOOO HOO!! well i still have 3 weeks left and its not like im over due or anything but this child is nesting right under my ribs and using my lungs as a pillow!! how can i breath you ask... well i dont! i cant! laying down just makes it worse because gravity is no longer pullin him down so he just tucks right in for the night! i am in so much pain and discomfort! i cant stand it! my hips hurt so bad... like they're widening for the baby but at the doctor today... not dilated at all!! blah! i cant stand it! i really really want this baby out! hes nothing like korlen was. korlen never went near any of my body parts like my bones or lungs but mayter loves to kick my ribs and hip bones korlen didnt move that much but mayter does!! man i cant stand it! oh well three weeks right!!

oh why do we teach them anything??

so dont get me wrong i am glad that he can get himself a drink and tell me what he wants but i dont like trying to cattier to his every desire or cleaning up the mess when he spills water for the third time that day.... and what is this obsession with water anyways. seriously all water he will pull his kitchen chair to the sink and cry for me to turn the water on he always plays with the dogs water dish(including putting dog food in the water to get a disgusting soggy texture), he learned a long time ago how to flush the toilet and will do this over and over and over (luckily hasnt flushed anything yet{knock on wood}) he has also discovered that if he climbs up on the toilet and uses the toilet paper dispenser as a stepping stool he can easily get on the counter and play in the sink!! just the other day he told me to "wait a sec" and when i said what he said "just a sec"....... are you kidding me!! my least fav is that he has learned to open doors .... and will do so at his little hearts content.. though he is so funny about shutting them too.. when he gets up in the morning (or in the middle of the night) he opens his door shuts it behind him comes in our room and slams in behind him again.... ugh!! he loves to help in the kitchen and his fav thing is to crack the eggs and then squeeze in his hand! why? why? he now wont let anyone touch the hand mixer while hes mixing. grrr... yesterday he was biting clothes just for oh idk fun i guess and decided to bite my pants but he got my skin too and yelled out in pain and he just looked at me and then turned and ran away jumping in his toy box which was sitting just across the room from me and just sat there staring at me fake crying! such a little actor... i have no idea where he gets it from! he runs aways and talks back and get into everything.. so i think developmentally he is spot on... i really really wish it was morally ethically and legally acceptable to use toddler straight jackets... but those wouldnt be complete without the dirty sock duck taped in his mouth!! is that so wrong? am i the only one that has this desire? i just need a nap every once in a while... cant i just drug him?? does that make me a bad mom! i think not!!