the truth about HG

#idontcareiftheworldknowswhatmysecretsare  I have HG

Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) is a complication of pregnancy characterized by intractable nausea, vomiting, and dehydration and is estimated to affect 0.5–2.0% of pregnant women.^[1][2] Malnutrition and other serious complications, such as fluid or electrolyte imbalances, may result.

Well now isn't that vague! Its true however, it is a complication of pregnancy that very few women suffer and so little of the world really understands. My goal is to tell you the truth about HG.... what its really like to suffer/survive this "complication" and just what someone like me goes through on a daily basis while pregnant. I have joined a few HG support groups and through reaching out to many other sufferers I feel I have come up with a general idea across the bored not just my singular experience...

the truth about HG is that you throw up.... a lot. I think most of you have got that from the definition that there is a lot of vomit going on but let me paint you a more clear picture. On a bad day my number of trips to the bathroom (or truth be told just a bowl because I cant make it to the bathroom) is an average of 4-6 times in an hour. A good day could be more like 4-6 times in the whole day which is a really really good day. Now I know what your thinking... if you throw up that many times you will eventually run out of things to vomit up... you couldn't be more wrong! Lets take into account that you can vomit your own saliva, and eventually your own stomach acid (which, as a characteristic of HG, has increased to an extremely high volume) and then after that you are just dry heaving. And dry heaving hurts! A LOT! Now what about the "complications" of vomiting this many times a day can cause. 1) you burst blood vessels in your eyes. Yup you are so violently throwing up that that can often happen and it can be painful and annoying. 2) you are literally destroying your throat and esophagus. You might not think about that damage when you get sick every 4 years with the stomach flu but when you have been throwing up for 4 months straight you really start to notice the strain it puts on your throat. many people with eating disorders can attest that one of the serious side effects is permanently damaging the skin lining your throat. 3) your teeth also take a beating on this one.. I have read many accounts of women who have suffered long-term dental damage because of the continuous erosion due to stomach acid on their teeth, some resulting in damage as severe as rotting or decaying teeth. 4) We know what "starving to death" really feels like... well sort of. Most do not die from this however many have. I get so irritated now when people have missed breakfast or forgotten to eat lunch and say they are starving.... I and many women like me have gone for days and days and days without eating a single thing, or at least we eat but not a single thing stays down. I can tell you that within one day you know what real pain comes from starving. PAIN is something you become very accustom to when suffering from HG which brings me to the next thing I want to talk to you about

the truth about HG is it hurts, Pain associate with HG is all consuming. First there is the stabbing pain in your stomach. It hurts so bad you want to curl up in a ball and die. It feels like there is a knife stabbing you through your stomach and turning... it feels like someone just poured acid in your open wound because lets face it there is acid in your open wound. Your stomach acid is slowly eating away at the lining of your stomach much like an ulcer however its your whole stomach and there is nothing to take to ease the pain because nothing will stay down. Then there is the pain of body aches. your body literally hurts all over. your muscles are depleting from lack of nutrition, your head hurts from the lack of oxygen and increase in pressure that happens when you throw up, your throat hurts from acid burns, your abs and sides hurt from the constant flexing that happens when you heave.... do you get the picture?

The truth about HG is that you are weak. And when I say weak I mean every muscle in your entire body is so weak and tired that it literally can not do what you are telling it to do. When you go so long without the nutrients your body needs it eventually gives out on you.... You cant support your own body weight to do things like stand up, or get dressed, or bath yourself, or brush your own hair. My husband and my mother have picked me up off the floor and practically carried me back to bed probably over 1000 times. There are times I cant even open a bottle by myself because I cant grip it.

The truth about HG is that there is no cure! This is what makes me the most upset! Science has made such miraculous things happen such as cloning, organ transplants, keeping people alive for years on life support.... there is prostetic limbs that function in some cases just as good as the real thing and they are now able to do serious procedures and surgeries by microscopic incisions and cameras! And yet there are hundreds of thousands of women that suffer from something so simple and yet there is no cure! And trust me the medication they are giving us are some heavy hitters! Most of the anti-nausea medication is that that was developed for cancer patients under going chemo. and for most like me that really only takes the edge off. Ps there is nothing more infuriating then to vomit up a pill! its literally just flushing your money down the toilet because in some cases those puppies can cost up to $10 EACH!!!! and we have tried everything in the book! acupuncture, hypnosis, alternative medicine, essential oils, any old wives tale you can think of..... please its insulting to keep suggesting crackers and Gatorade!

Now yes these are the worst of times and I am not always this sick however I want to tell you what you don't know about my good days. I want to tell you what you don't know about the times that you see me. If you see me driving my son to school I have a baggie in the seat next to me and that 9 out of 10 times I make it to school make it home and them promptly vomit my guts out and have to lay down for the next 20 min. When you see me at church, I want you to know that I have been preparing for this since I woke up. I have most likely thrown up in the bathroom every time Ive gone in. and that when I leave early its because I honestly cant be in a vertical position any longer! Sometimes you come have a conversation with me and I seem like I don't feel good but other then that I seem fine.... yeah I'm fine. I threw up a few min ago and so I'm coming down off that high and I feel pretty darn good. however I have an internal clock that for every 5 min I'm standing here talking to you I WILL pay for it later.

The truth about HG is you cry.... A LOT! which sucks because crying causes you to vomit even more. it depletes your energy and it causes you to swallow more saliva and flem which you will throw up in 3 , 2, 1...... you cry because it just isn't fair! your friends, your family, everyone you know... they get preggers and are like oh wow I never threw up once whats your problem. you cry because your kids ask you questions like mommy why don't you ever play anymore or mommy why does it take you so long to make me lunch? you cry because you hurt so bad and are in so much pain that you beg your husband to kill you. you tell him over and over and over "i wanna die, I wanna die, I cant do this please I hurt so bad I want to die" you cry because you are rethinking this notion of having another child and you who is 1000% pro life are considering having an abortion because you are now seeing blood in your vomit from your stomach and throat. you cry and cry and cry! and yet you wake up another day and do it all over again

the truth about HG is that it last a lot longer then morning sickness. I have found that in many if not most cases this pain and agony last for THE ENTIRE PREGNANCY! some of us like me are lucky... we only get it for about 17-25 weeks.... guess what.... im 8 weeks pregnant... that means I may be lucky and only have 10 more weeks of this! 10 WEEKS! ugh please shoot me!

the truth about HG is that yes after the first one we knew exactly what we were getting ourselves into! we do not complain for your condolences, we accept the help you are willing to give if you are willing to give it but we know we chose this and must pay the consequences, we are NOT lazy, or exaggerating, or dramatic, or "just making it up" because if we were we would spend a lot more of our time out of our bedrooms and among other people so we could get more sympathy! We are fighting every single sec of every day for our health and for the baby that we are growing inside of us.

that's my truth about HG.......