I'm hairy and I know it

#idontcareiftheworldknowswhatmysecretsare

Yup those are my hairy legs in a skirt on Sunday. 

Seriously though... I'm a busy lady, I have three kids, crazy stay at home life, lots going on all the time. With that being said .... I still wouldn't be diligent about shaving my legs all the time. "Ain't nobody gots time for that"   And honestly if you are close enough to my legs to tell your either a creep or my husband. And husbands opinion doesn't matter anyways. I know I'm not alone in this one so bring on the hairy legs and goodbye to the shame! 

peearts

#idontcareiftheworldknowswhatmysecretsare

yup people we are getting super duper real with this one... peearts (AKA the pee-farts)... I peeart! and its SSSSOOO embarrassing! I remember when I was little going to the bathroom with a certain old lady who shall not be named, and it was like she was trying to reenact the bombing at peal harbor up in those echoed bathrooms. She could single handedly be the entire musical effect team to any high action war movie. And as a young girl I was frightened, and amused! I mean farts are the only thing that are both completely disgusting and entirely hilarious all at the same time. You could literally be both gaging and laughing your guts out simultaneously. With that being said, when your in a crowded public bathroom, dying because you have to pee so bad but there is no such thing as relaxing the muscles to pee and clenching the muscles to fart at the same time, IT CAN NOT BE DONE, things are no longer funny! And don't even pretend like you haven't been there. I know I'm not the only one... there is nothing like going into the bathroom at the exact same time as a stranger... you both sit down waiting for the other to start so that you don't have to be the one to go first. Its like a game of chicken, whose gonna give in. All the while you are both praying that someone else flushes a toilet to mask the hideously loud orchestra of sounds that is about to erupt from your not so glamorous side. When that doesn't happen you only have a few options left.
*grin and bear it. just hurry and be done with your business pray that your peearts are very loud or long and try and hurry as fast as you can to wash and exit before you have to awkwardly "not" look at each other through the mirror while washing your hands (because lets face it you are basically closer then best friends now)
*Wait it out. No matter how painful or stupid or childish it may be you are going to win and when you are done you are going to sit in the stall and well "stall" until she has washed her hands and exited the bathroom (because that is really the most respectful thing given that she so graciously went first and embarrassed herself)
*My favorite.... I like to call it Operation Cover Up! this is where you make a subtle yet effective noise just loud enough to mast the toot. a cough, a throat clearing, a tap of the shoe.... (wow I have some serious issues) whatever you chose you better time it just right otherwise your efforts will be for not...

with all that being said... if you ever find you are out and about and you have to go #2 forget it! there is no recovery from that sort of shame!

finacial woes

#idontcareiftheworldknowswhatmysecretsare

todays topic.... money! No one really likes to talk about money! How much you make, how much you spend, its totally a social faux pas! But here's my secret.... sometimes I make financial mistakes and they cost big time! Ugh there's no blue print of my life out there, trust me I've looked, and if there was I don't know if I would follow it anyways! so when I do stupid stuff like buy a lemon of a car, or spend to much at the grocery store, or getting into those pyramid businesses and then never doing anything with them, or spending to much on eating out, or getting into a crippling mortgage, or start a business, or get into any kind of debt at all for any reason I just want to bash my head against a wall until the lights start to dance! Its not like I want these things to happen. No one wakes up in the morning and says I want to blow all my money so 5 years down the road I can look back and have nothing to show for all my hard work, but sometimes it happens. It happens to the best of us! No one likes to admit when they have made a mistake especially about something so personal, but rest assured you will make a mistake... big or small, and just remember this.... you are not alone! Just learn from your mistakes, ask for help when you need it, don't make the same mistake twice, and decide what is really important to you! Lorenzo and I took a money management class almost 2 years ago by Dave Ramsey called Financial Peace University   and I would have to say that it has changed our financial lives dramatically! Money is a tool, either you work for it or it works for you!

Christ-like Santa

Tis the season and Christmas is creeping up faster then ever! I wanted to start this Christmas season off right though. My children are now at the age that the spirit and magic and wonder of the Christmas spirit is all around. Unfortunatly, now that the oldest has started school so is the worldly views as to what Christmas is really all about! So onto Pinterest I go in search of how to teach my children the true meaning of Christmas without taking away the magic and wonder of Santa.... I found these two wonderful links that I based my Christ-like Santa FHE lesson around.

https://fhelessons.wordpress.com/2013/10/16/why-we-give-gifts-for-christmas/

http://www.latter-dayhomeschooling.com/2010/12/symbols-of-christmas.html

I especially used the second one! I think if my kids were older I would have felt more comfortable with there ability to answer the questions she used with the manger scene in the first one..

anyways just as in the blog post I have added I had a picture of Jesus at the door covered by a drawn picture of our front door and I told the children

Soon we could be having a special guest at our door! I am going to give you some clues to see if you can guess who you think it is.

* He has a Beard
* He is often depicted wearing red and white
* He gives the best gifts
* He loves little children
* He makes you feel all warm inside
* He can get into your house even if the doors are locked
* He knows if you have been bad or good
* He only wants you to repay him by being kind to others
* He encourages you to prepare for his coming by being good

I was surprised my 3 year old actually guessed Jesus but my 5 year old scolded him and said "No silly its Santa DUH"

So I let them "open" the door by removing the paper too see who was there.............

 

The reaction was perfect. My 5 year old was so excited about the similarities between the two.. This is where the teaching opportunity arose. I explained that Santa is a symbol of Jesus and that Santa lives his life to try and be like Jesus... then I let the kids open and read the letter we had gotten form the North Pole earlier that day....

Santa's Letter

The letter totally seals the deal... Putting all the focus back on Jesus...

anyways hoped you enjoyed LMK if you have any problems opening the letter or questions..

Not my toys!

You've all been there... And if you haven't please come give me a parenting training! That moment when enough is enough and even though they aren't finished with their chores you say they are just so you can be rid of them and finish yourself! I mean seriously when it take 2 hrs to get them to do 2 chores that take you 5 min it gets to be about as much as you can take! Unfortunately AND fortunately that means that you are left to do it on your own. Well Saturday was just such a time and the last chore on the list was the dreaded you closet! Why oh why the toy closet. And as I sat amid the literal trash that they swore to be their treasure I was only enraged that they had so many toys!!! They have more toys then I have hair ties or bobby pins or shirts or shoes or jars of pears or phone numbers in my contact book! These kids have so many bloody toys they don't even know what to do with them! They have so many toys that 4 weeks ago I took a bag of toys and put them in time out for not cleaning them up and everyone forgot about them! Silly thing is with all the toys these kids have they don't have nearly as muh as most of their friends... And I actually have found myself feeling bad about that! We only buy them toys for their birthday and Christmas! Other then that they want a toy they earn money and buy it. However as I was sitting there with about 5 Legos and at least one cars maytor digging in to my sore rump I scoffed myself for ever feeling guilty about their "lack of toys"! Did I forget who my boys were? They spend close to 6 hrs a day outside. They only watch about an he of tv a day and the rest of the time they are eating sleeping or just bugging the crap out of me! They have wild imaginations and enjoy making things to play with. That's when I decided to start throwing their "treasures" away! After citing their amount of toys considerably, the DI got a sizable donation, the closet got a lot more roomy, my stress level diminished and they children have not a clue in the world! Hallelujah! 

Tough skin isn't desirable

Let's be honest. No one wants to touch tough skin unless it's a designer alligator skin bag! No one ever said. I just love touching your rough knees and caressing your tuff  elbows. Oooo sexy! So is true about our personalities. Rarely are we drown to people because of their tough exterior. The way in which they push us away or give us the cold shoulder. Yet in today's society we hear all too often that we need tougher skin. What for I ask! Yes there are sometimes I wish I wasn't so sensitive and that the words that others say didn't effect me, but that's what makes me who I am. What is so desirable about not ever feeling, not ever caring, not ever letting someone in...The problem is when we shut the door to our hearts, yes we shut out the bad, but we shut out the good also. Not having tough skin I may be more sensitive to the unkind words people say but I'm also more sensitive to the one who is silent and yet screaming out for help from the anguish of this world. I may be more prone to get my heart broken but I'm also more likely to let my love touch the lives of those around me... There is obviously a lot to be said about a woman who can take on this brazen world and get to the other side unscathed, however in my opinion there is also a great beauty in the scars the wrinkles and the down right open wounds of the little old lady who FELT EVERYTHING in her life. The good and the bad. The sad and the Happy. The triumph and the sorrow. The loss of loved ones but the gratitude for the memories shared. The pain of a wayward child and the joy of a righteous one. The burn left by a selfish friend and the wrinkle lines from the friend that always had you laughing. There is something poetic and beautiful in the sensitive life. Do not toughen your skin to shut out all that we are meant to experience here in this life.

One is the Loneliest Number

What do I have so say today…. Well for starters I AM SO DAMB BORED! Why after you hit a certain age is it no longer ok for you to have friends over to hang out? Just you two chillin… why do your kids have to get along. Or have kids the same age. Why is it weird that now at 25 with 3 kids I call someone up and am like “yo im bored come over” do I get hung up on! Well ok ok I know why it’s that whole living on someone else’s time schedule thing…. You know like nap time and hungry time and heaven forbid we leave the house because we are potty training or their favorite show is on in like 5 min so by the time we find everyone’s shoes get all these freaking buckles done up for their car seats drive over unbuckle fall out and get in the show would be almost over… plus it’s a kids show you know what that means… no freaking commercials. Well I guess that depends on what station your watching but don’t even get me started on that right now because I could go on for days! Anyways they wake up I have to hold their hand through every single daily task starting with breakfast all the way through making their beds and saying their prayers and by the end I have said “keep picking up the blocks” 77 times before they rush out the door to play… and then what am I supposed to do? Read another book…. I currently have two that are so slow I’m dragging my feet just trying to trudge through to the end… like really when is something exciting going to happen! Clean again… please I do that all day every day! Watch some daytime tv garbage? No thank you desperate house wife! How about sew or paint or knit or scrapbook? Well 1. When was the last time you took 3 kids into a craft store and came out unscathed? Last time I almost had to buy the whole freaking bead isle when one of mine thought it would be a great idea to climb on up to try and reach the bead hanging on the very top because it was “just so awesome mommy needed it” 2. Aint nobody got money for that shit! All my money goes to buying new shoes for these growing brats or even more then that food! Good gravy they eat this much now what’s gonna happen when they hit puberty! Heaven help me!! Let’s see what else could I do … oh I know get on facebook …. Again…. But sadly I have already seen you take a selfie in that bathroom before and yes you look exactly the same as when you had your hair pulled to the other side.. and no I don’t want to play candy crush so stop freaking asking me! I could get online and do some genealogy but apparently no one in my family exist! How about some service indexing? Well if my computer would actually allow me to open the webpage maybe I could spend some time doing that….. ah! Typing this is even a challenge because my beautiful angels have pulled of three keyboard buttons . one for each of them I guess…so my f g and b are all gone… why couldn’t it have been a shift or something!! I can’t leave the house the baby is asleep and everywhere cost money except the park where I get to watch my children have fun. They have their own friends… they live next-door…. And down the street….. and in the same house!!!! I however am bored out of my mind with limited options except to piss and moan! The end!